Pro-Active Kids PM Management Tools:
The Rules:
- Pick your battles.
- Begin with a firm look and a little shake of your head.
- Tell kids what you want their behavior to look like. (Stop talking vs. I'd like you to be listening to Eric right now).
- Turn your questions into directions. (Can you stop running around? vs. I'd like you to slow down and walk).
- If a negative behavior is beginning to escalate, offer options for appropriate behavior. (Stop crowding your friends space. vs. You can either move over a few inches, or you can sit on the floor.)
- After two times of offering options you can say "This time if you can't pick one of the options I have given you, I will pick for you and help you make it happen".
- If a child is unable to cooperate with you after 3 times, you can say "It looks like you are having a hard time making a decision right now. Lets go over here to a more quiet space so that we can figure out how to make the decision together" Take them to a place away from their friends to calm down until they are ready to pick from your 2 options.I
- If a kid is totally flipping out in their "time out", look them in the eye and say "I'm going to walk away so that you have some time to calm down on your own. Call on me when you are ready". Walk away, but keep an eye on how things are going.
- When a kid does do what you ask them to, praise them right away. This will begin to train our kids that positive behavior gets the most response out of us. It totally works, trust me;-)
- Make kids aware of time, how much they have left, and how much they need to wait.
- Give them a heads up when you know there will be a transition coming (You have 5 minutes until we need to clean up. You have 2 minutes to share. Listen to Eric for one more minute, and then it is your turn. etc.)
- Clean up one thing, before you pull out the next activity, or before you head out the door. This will create a better sense of ownership in the room, and relieve you of doing all of the clean up yourself.
- Remember that the adults need to feel safe too. Be in touch with your co-leader for that evening. Check in with each other throughout the night. Wrap cell helpers into the process, and keep them in the know about how things work. Assign them to specific kids who may need a little extra support.
- Always follow up with parents. They WANT to know what's going on and will always offer ways to better support their child.
Here are some "teaching tips" as well:
1. Plan an age-appropriate PM Time by using language and materials that your kids can comprehend.
2. Incorporate multiple learning styles: Teach to the visual, auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic learners with multi-sensory materials. This is especially helpful to those who's first language may not be English, and for children who have special needs..
3. Keep a routine: Since children thrive on routine and order, follow one in your PM Time just like the adults do downstairs. It helps to have this schedule visually available for all to see and use week to week.
4. Ensure safety: Some children will act out because they are afraid. Do whatever is necessary to create a safe place and communicate security to that child.
5. Vary the activities: Consider the attention span of your audience. Keep things moving! If you have a sit down activity, make sure that the next one is an active one.
6. Make it fun: Allow for games and laughter and much silliness!
7. Get their attention: Practice getting children’s attention creatively. Try varying the lighting in the room, ring a bell, sing a song, clap your hands in a pattern (and have kids repeat it), strike a silly pose, put on a crazy hat, etc.
8. Form relationships with the children in your community: This is essential. Children need to know that you are cheering for them and on their team. Learn all that you can about them and love and encourage them accordingly.
9. Learn how to transition well: Since you’ll be varying activities, go from one to another seamlessly. Be organized and have your materials in order. Give clear and concise directions in terms of what you expect from your kids.
10. Know your activities and projects: Too many leaders lose their kids by getting buried in their notes. Study your material thoroughly. Engage kids with eye contact.
11. Don’t do all the talking: Allow the children to answer questions. Pair them up in pairs and teams to discuss the topic. Consider having others lead specific times: respected peers, parents, and other trusted adults.
12. Consider using prayer as a way to open and close the kids PM time. Sit on the floor, in chairs or at a table. Have kids pray for each other and their families, people around the world, etc.). Using the solidarity prayer that the adults are doing downstairs could be a great way to start things off.
13. Command authority: Learn how to “own the room.” Communicate this with body language, creativity, and tone of voice. Do not be timid or afraid. On the other end of the spectrum, steer clear of a military type of delivery. Your objective is not to invoke fear in children so that they listen and obey. Your intent is to get their attention through compassionate care and creative engagement.
Adapted from an article written by Kristin Charles (click HERE for original article)
